It's Love's Illusions I Recall
by pandorabox82
Summary: A/U. Severus has been asked by Lily to choose life and look after her sister, as Dumbledore has interfered in their lives once more. How will Severus take to this new responsibility, and how can "Always" change in a heartbeat?


"Severus, you need to go back to the world of the living. My sister needs you."

He stared at her with incredulity in his eyes. "But I thought… Look, I paid my debts, I want to rest now."

"Sev, please. She's all alone, and she's received her most desperate wish. Dumbledore pulled some strings up here, and well…"

"He managed to have someone slip her some dragon's blood, didn't he?"

"Yes." She gently touched his neck and he felt a warmth he hadn't felt in years envelope him. "Love her, Severus, for my sake. Here, take these." She handed him a bouquet of purple calla lilies. "That way she'll know I sent you. Wake up now, and go to her."

"But I never agreed to this, Lily."

"You did so when you took the flowers from me."

He was about to reply when he felt his spirit returning to his body. Cautiously, he opened his eyes, looking around for movement before he sat up and felt his neck. The wound there had closed, much to his surprise, and he quickly fumbled for the vial of antivenin he had placed in his pocket as a precaution.

He quickly drank down the potion he'd prepared months earlier, grateful it had not been damaged or destroyed in the struggle, and felt Nagini's poison being slowly sucked out of his veins, out of him system.

"How in bloody hell am I supposed to find Petunia. Lily certainly offered me no clues as to her whereabouts. Scourgify," he muttered, cleaning off his bloody, dirty, robes. "Accio wand!" were his next words. His want flew to his outstretched hand, whole and unblemished, another minor miracle on this strange day. Attached was the small bouquet Lily had presented him in his dream.

"Of couse, Calla Place, back where it all began," he said lowly, glaring at the flowers. Focusing on the street where he'd grown up, he disappeared with a quiet pop.

It was strange to be back at the place of so many bad memories, he decided once he reappeared on Calla Place. He saw the lights still on at Number 26, the one safe haven he'd had to escape his father all those years ago.

Strange it was, also, that he was so hesitant to approach the door. He had never taught anyone how to control magic acquired late in life, that had always fallen to Minerva, since it was always a Squib. Dragon's blood was so hard to come by, anyway, that no one dare use it on so mundane a thing as awakening magical potential, usually. Yet, that wasn't the cause for his hesitancy. He couldn't quite put his finger on what _it_ was.

Screwing up his courage, he walked up to the door and knocked in the familiar old pattern she was sure to recall. He waited a few minutes, and finally, the door opened a crack.

"Who is it?" Her voice was familiar, yet lower than the last time he'd heard it.

"Flower delivery for Petunia Dursely," he replied, his voice surprisingly husky. _I really need to rein in my emotions_, he thought briefly as he waited for her response.

"At this time of night?" she asked as she opened the door a little more. "You!" she hissed as he thrust the flowers at her. It was only then that the events of the day chose to catch up with him, as if someone knew he'd done as commanded and was willing to let him rest, and he pitched forward onto the floor in a dead faint.

When he woke, the first thing he noticed was that someone had stripped him down to his trousers. The next was that the calla lilies had been placed on a bedside table, mocking him with their beauty.

"They can't be destroyed. I've tried everything I know of to ruin them, but it doesn't work." She stared at him for a moment. "After all this time, why are you back now, bearing her flowers?" She wiped away a tear from her cheek as she continued to look at him, anger and sorrow mixed together in her gaze.

He broke the look he shared with her and turned his head to glance out the window. "There are ways to meddle in the world of magic that everyone knows about, but no one ever tries, unless they are desperate. Your only child is a Squib? You'll do anything you can to make them fit in. Anything. Have you drank anything lately that was given to you?"

"Not really, at least nothing that I remember. Well, there was that bottle of wine that someone gave me at the wake. They told me Brian wanted me to have it, although he couldn't attend either the wake or the funeral. Having just lost Vernon, I thought nothing of it. He had a few coworkers named Brian, and I assumed one of them had given it to me. I remember it was delicious, tasting of elderberries. Why?"

"Do you feel any different since you drank the wine? And how much of it did you drink?"

"The whole bottle, I'm afraid. Once everyone had left me alone, I got blindingly drunk. Dudley left as soon as he could, couldn't stand to be around us after the way we had treated Harry all those years. And then Vernon up and died, leaving me alone in this world. Not like a deserved any better…"

"Focus, woman! Do you feel any different?"

The sorrow was gone from her eyes and she glared at him. "No, I do not feel any different, save for the dreams. They're vivid and oh so real. I dream I can make the flowers open and close at my will, like Lily used to do for me."

"How is your real garden growing?"

"Surprisingly well for all the rain we've been receiving. But the sun came out this morning, and there's not a cloud in the sky, as you can see. The forecasters do not know what to make of it, since they predicted rain again today."

"Then he's done it, he's really done it."

"Who's done what?"

"Harry has defeated Voldemort, and we're safe once more."

She was silent for a moment. "Did she die for nothing, then?"

"No, she gave Harry everything he needed to defeat that barmy bastard. She sacrificed everything to save him."

"I tried to keep magic from touching him, but it didn't work. The pull of your world was too strong. I didn't want him to die like Lily – alone, with no family beside him. I thought if he never went to that damn school…" She began to cry then, softly, into her hands.

He knew what it was like to weep over doing what was necessary to protect a loved one, and being too late in the end. He struggled to sit up, but found himself still a bit weak, He fell back against the pillows with a sigh.

She came up and knelt at his side. "Would it have made a difference if I had been different, too? If I had been more like her?"

"Albus always said it was our choices that make us who we are. Would you have chosen to do things differently?"

"Yes! I would have saved her!"

"Just as I tried to. But she chose to save her baby." He awkwardly smoothed her hair, reminded of the time he'd comforted Lily when she left home the first time. "You darkened your hair."

"Yes, well, it was time for a change, or so we were told. I rather liked it, so I kept it this shade."

"You look lovely."

"Ever the gallant Severus. Have you forgotten? I'm not Lily, easily comforted by flattery." She got up off the floor and made her way to the door. "Supper will be ready in a few hours. I'll bring it up to you."

He waited until he was certain she wouldn't return, watching the door warily. "_Expecto Patronum_. Run to Minerva," he said to the silver doe that appeared by his bedside. He waited a few moments and began to speak. "Minerva, contrary to reports you may hear, I am very much alive, though I have no wish for this to be broadcast across all the wizarding world. I have need of my possessions, send them to Number 26, Calla Place. I highly doubt I shall ever see you again, so I must bid you adieu." He let the patronus dissolve and fell quickly asleep.

He woke next to the smell of supper and the sight of Petunia standing before him, tray in hand.

"I was going to wake you as soon as I had set this down," she said, smiling a little. "A package arrived for you through the fireplace. I'd appreciate it if, in the future, you'd inform me of any impending deliveries so I can put a tarp down. Ash is very difficult to get out of light blue carpeting."

"Yes, well, I'm not expecting any more."

"So, what are you going to do when you get better? Spinner's End is occupied now by his child. But I suppose you knew that."

"I'm staying here. Lily gave me charge over you, to protect you, and that's what I plan on doing."

"Oh."

"What is it?" he snapped.

"I thought you'd come here for me, not because Lily told you to come. You're more than welcome to stay, though. The house is so quiet with only myself here." She turned to go, and he felt the pain in her, much as he had felt whenever Lily had been in pain.

"Petunia, come here," he said, making his voice soft, tender. "Sit. I would never have come here if I hadn't wanted to do so."

She threw her arms around his neck and began to cry on his shoulder. "I'm behaving like a hormonal schoolgirl, I know. It's just…Never mind. Eat your supper. I'll be back for the tray later." She got off the bed and smoothed her skirt before exiting the room, tears still running down her face.

Severus picked up the tray off the table and balanced it on his lap. She had made him a thick vegetable soup and had included fresh made rolls. These were exactly like her mother had made, so long ago, and he found himself smiling at the memory. Severus ate with a gusto that surprised him, then he realized he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. He polished off the entire bowl along with the rolls, his stomach rumbling in appreciation. He listened to the quiet of the house, trying to hear her coming up the stairs and take care of him. When some time had passed and he hadn't heard her, he slipped out of bed, wobbly standing on legs that threatened to give out on him. He was shocked to see she had laid his wand next to the lilies, as she hated even the mere hint of magic.

He took a few steps and picked up his wand, fingering it gently as he smiled. Summoning a set of robes up to his room, he quickly dressed before carrying his tray downstairs and into the kitchen. He still remembered this place so well, even after all the years that had passed. Placing the dishes in the sink, he set the tray on the counter, taking a look around at the room that had not changed in twenty years. Shaking his head, he sat heavily in one of the chairs, more tired than he'd realized. Once he'd caught his breath, he made his way to the garden.

What he saw took his breath away. Petunia had transformed the garden into a veritable paradise of flowers. He looked around at the roses that lined the fencerow and found himself drawn to them. Leaning down, he breathed in their heady scent. Petunia had always loved her roses.

"Magical, isn't it?"

He jumped and turned to face her. "Don't sneak up on me!"

She blanched and made to go, but he caught her arm. "Let go of me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. It's just, for years I've lived looking over one shoulder, trying to keep my wits about me and stay alive."

She nodded and went to sit on the bench beneath the willow. "I think I am changing, Severus. You asked earlier if I noticed anything different about myself. Well, as you can see, I wasn't entirely honest. Look over into my neighbor's yard."

He did so and found the lawn wilted and dying. The flowers were dull and lifeless. He looked back at the garden he was standing in and noticed the difference straight away.

"I just wanted life here after Vernon died. I never expected this." She swept her hand out to the garden. "What's happening here? What's happening to me?"

"Albus did this to you. The wine you drank contained dragon's blood. It awakened the dormant gene for magic in you. You're one of us, now."

"How is that even possible? Dumbledore wouldn't take me to Hogwarts because I possessed no magic. I wrote him enough times that first year alone to get that drummed into my head."

"Albus thought it was what you wanted, and after losing so much to us, he decided to give something to you." He took a seat next to her on the bench. "I can teach you how to use your powers, if you'll let me."

She clasped his hand tightly, a sad smile crossing her lips. "I think I'd love that, Severus."


End file.
